


Inappropriate Breakfast

by thelastmermaid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:51:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastmermaid/pseuds/thelastmermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha asks a question during breakfast, and no one wants to give her the answer she's looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inappropriate Breakfast

They sat around the kitchen table in relative silence, and Natasha took a bite from her eggs while she regarded four of her teammates carefully.

“Do you guys do anal fisting?”

Steve choked on his cereal, Tony coughed behind his tablet, Phil choked on his coffee and Clint made on odd noise while Darcy laughed from the counter, and James looked concerned while Bruce just looked extremely uncomfortable.

A majority of the men, those that weren't choking that is, yelled some version of her name.

“I’m just curious.”

Clint started shaking his head at her, while Phil and Tony stared at her with curiosity, and Steve looked anywhere but at her, and Darcy couldn’t stop laughing, and James snorted and stole a bite from Natasha’s eggs, she gave him a dirty look, and Bruce did his best to ignore this whole situation.

“Why are you curious?” Tony finally asked.

“Well, I don’t know how it works,” she made a fist above the table, and most of the men around the table refused to look at her tiny hand. “I mean, I have a small hand, but men’s hands are usually larger, so I’d imagine it hurts.”

She glanced around the table, and still no one spoke.

“The average penis isn’t as wide as my fist, so I’d imagine that a man’s fist would hurt like fuck.”

Darcy lost it, and fell on the ground in a silent fit of giggles.

“Oh my god! Natasha! Stop talking!” Clint finally said, and she looked over at him with innocent curiosity.

“I’m just curious!” She moved to punch James as he tried to steal another bite from her eggs.

“Nat, just stop. You’re making Steve uncomfortable.” Natasha watched Tony, and noticed the way his muscles moved under his wifebeater, and reasoned that he moved his hand on top of Steve’s tight, and she lifted an eyebrow at him.

Ah huh. “Maybe it’s your hand that’s making him uncomfortable, Tony,” she quipped. “But seriously, do you guys just stick to the butt sex?”

“That’s it. That’s the last time I ever want Nat to say butt and sex in the same sentence,” Clint said.

“That’s the last time I ever want her to say butt and sex ever,” Phil added.

"Or how about anal and fisting?" Bruce commented dryly before shoving a spoonful of eggs into this mouth. The rest of the table, besides Natasha, murmured in agreement. 

“Hey! I’m serious!” Natasha defended herself.

“No. We don’t do anal fisting,” Steve finally answered her, and Natasha wasn’t sure who was in worse shape, James or Tony, because oh wow, Steve said the words Anal Fisting.

And Natasha looked like the cat that got the cream.

Darcy managed to control her laughter long enough to stand up, and hand Natasha a twenty. “Well done.”


End file.
